2019 has been a good but challenging year. Challenging in all aspects of my life, career, money, friends, personal growth etc. I think this year I have developed as a person a lot but there is still so much room for improvement and changes that could make myself a better person along with the way I am towards others. I have learnt a few things throughout this year and so I thought it may be quite reflective and therapeutic for myself to type them out, and who knows, some of things I’ve learnt this year, some of you may agree with or others may take it with them into the new year.
This year I have learnt to care less. I’m aware that may sound quite weird and savage to ‘care less’ but I’m getting to the stage in my life where I can now accept what I want to do and what makes me happy without worrying what others may think of me. I’ve always been a people pleaser and always feel like I have to do what others want even if that makes me unhappy. But I am starting to grow some balls basically and have a backbone and go out when I want or see who I want without worrying about everyone else. I think it’s hard to adapt to a mindset of not letting things bother you as much but it does eventually change and you just realise what’s the point in worrying or caring so much about something or someone when there’s no need for it.
Another thing I have learnt is that money is so important to save. I go on about money a lot because I don’t want people to make the mistake I did once I got a job and just spending all my money. Don’t get me wrong I still treat myself and buy random crap, but I look after my money a lot more now. I save as soon as I get paid, I have a help to buy account, I pay all my bills as soon as so then I can see what I have left for the month. I don’t get a massive amount of money but for me it makes me survive and still have a social life. Some months can be harder than others but the money I get is liveable on for sure! But, opening a help to buy and realising that I’m getting older and if I want to move out soon I need to sort myself out and actually save, it’s made a difference in the way I spend my money and I think about what I’m buying more often. We all love to buy ourselves things and treat people who are close to us, but it’s so so important to save as much as you can!! Even if it’s £20 a month, it’s something towards your future!
I’ve learnt that I still have a far journey to go within my argumentative side. Keeping it real with you guys, Joe and I argue, most couples do argue, and I think that if you don’t argue then you aren’t being honest with each other. It’s normal to argue. But I hate the way I argue. I want to address arguments differently, and talk about them in person and not cry instantly and not say things that aren’t relevant etc. To me, it’s difficult to not get hot headed and fuming and completely lose my shit, but I think compared to a year ago, I have probably changed a fair bit in the way I argue. But as I said, I know that the journey of arguing is still far from complete. But 2020, will be another year of working on arguing. (is that a really weird thing to say, ‘working on arguing’, I don’t want to just start arguments but handle them better haha!)
This year has taught me and shown me that I can do things that I never thought I could. Work push me in becoming the best I can and have helped improved my confidence MASSIVELY. A few years ago, if you asked me to stand in front of 50 people and speak, hell no would I do that. But only a few weeks ago I did exactly that and I feel incredible that I did it. I was a nervous wreck, couldn’t eat breakfast, hands shaking as I spoke, but it felt so good after knowing I did something that I couldn’t do before. It seems that pushing myself into the deep end is the best way for me to excel. Public speaking is something that I don’t enjoy AT ALL but in life I will have to do it and getting as much practise as possible will help build up my confidence. It’s surprising what you can actually do when you have to do something. You won’t know what you can do until you try!
Exercise does in fact help your mental health. Since my summer holiday at the beginning of July, I have probably been to the gym about 3 times lol…but having this break from the gym and exercise has made me realise that it helps so much sweating out some anger or doing a class and forgetting about your life outside of the class. Everyone will tell you ‘go do some exercise’ if you’re down or stressed and you may just shrug it off but TRUST ME it works! I’ve enjoyed my break and I’ve enjoyed eating whatever and to be honest I thought I would be hating my body a lot more than I currently do considering I’ve gained a bit of weight but I actually feel quite content with it because I’ve just been having fun and eating what I want without the guilt. But my mind is starting to be like ‘ok Georgia you need to calm down a bit, I know it’s Christmas, but you are taking it a bit too far, maybe aim to go to the gym soon girl’. Exercise, it helps.
I’ve also learnt that I love to type about my life and things I’m passionate about. In February it will be a year since I started my blog, but I properly started a few months after aka posting regular. I really enjoy just sitting here and typing what comes to my mind and sharing it with people. Even if only 3 people read it, it’s fulfilling knowing people are actually looking at something I’ve wrote. Blogging is so fun, but my one regret is that I didn’t start it sooner. I’ve always debated having a blog but just put it off and was scared, I guess. If you’re ever debating starting a blog, then I say go for it! What have you got to lose? You’ll either carry on with it or stop but at least you’ve tried it!
This year I have learnt more about myself and what I want to do with my life. I mean this in a dramatic way but also a relaxing way. For example, I know that in 2020 I want to do more things in London and try different restaurants instead of the classic Nandos or TGI’s. I want to explore more in the city I work in and check out the bars but mainly, I want to try and go to more West End shows. I already have Mary Poppins and Wicked booked and I am SO excited to go! I love going to the theatre and dressing up nicely for it. And yes, I will be doing reviews of the shows! But also, I may only be 20 but I have more aims in my life now. In 2020, I’m going to be studying again to hopefully achieve a Level 4 Marketing qualification. Then I know, I want to then achieve Level 6, I know that I will eventually get a new job, I know that I need a higher salary to afford a house, I know that having close friends are so much better than 30 distant friends, I know that I want to improve my style and look more professional, I know that I want to keep pushing myself with work and events. I know that I want to be successful and have the best career I can possibly have. I think having goals is something that gets me through life. At the end of every year, I like to think about what I want to achieve, big or small.
Happy new year everyone, have a great 2020!