Anxiety – My Experience

Anxiety is SHIT. It’s such a fucking crap problem in people’s life and it’s truly destroying.

I remember when I was younger, I’m not sure what age, but I was talking to my mum about something and I turned round to her and said ‘mum I think I have anxiety’ for her to say ‘Georgia I already know that’.

Just like my self love, my anxiety has improved massively. Panic attacks were a weekly occurrence for me a few years back, my palms would also be clammy, I was never honest and every day tasks were difficult to overcome. I still have bad days now – last year in October I went to my friend’s uni and I had to leave the club because I had a small panic attack in the middle of the club. It was shit and I currently haven’t gone to a club since. But I will soon because I’m not going to let it defeat me – fight it as much as possible.

I feel like anxiety is with me every day – whether that’s sweating on a winter day, picking the skin around my thumbs, my heart beating faster or simply being excited to get back home in bed. As I’ve gotten older, I know what situations I may not feel comfortable in and signs that may end in a panic attack or a bad few days. Anxiety isn’t something that has left my life completely and it’s probably still very far away from being gone forever, if it ever will be gone forever. I am so incredibly happy for the people who have beat their anxiety and people who are working on it. It’s such a huge illness and most likely everyone will go through a stage of anxiety in their life.

Secondary school was where my self love was bad, but college was where my anxiety was absolutely shocking. BUT, it’s okay! Because 2 years later, I am so much better. I enjoyed college and had a great 2 years there and I met so many new people and realised what subject I am talented in. It was a successful time for me and I’m thankful for how my college experience went. However, during these two years, there was a lot I was hiding from friends and family. At times, I did have to email in sick because I couldn’t face the day but again, that is so okay – do what is going to help you.

I can’t pin point one thing that made my anxiety really bad in college, tbh I don’t even think I was ever sure what the reasons where behind it. But I think the unknown of being in a new relationship, putting someone else first, losing friends, meeting new people, new teachers, new daily routine, starting a weekend job, hormones changing, such a mixture of things changed and developed within such a short time period, that I panicked and couldn’t handle the changes as quickly as I needed to.

Near the end of college, I visited the mental health area and spoke to someone about my anxiety and depression because I knew it had got to a stage where I need guidance on it and someone professional to speak to. I visited 3 times, which wasn’t enough and I regret not seeking more help when it was so easy to attend and gain from. So if you gain anything from this, please if the help is there, take it, don’t leave it and regret it down the line.

Anxiety had damaged my relationship with my boyfriend and massively affected us during college, tbh sometimes I am surprised we are still together and that we overcame it – although it did make us such a stronger couple by getting through it together. So, even though it was a super tough at the time, it did actually benefit us in the long run.

I also didn’t even tell my parents that I was seeing someone at college about it because it’s the feeling of being ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn’t handle life on my own. But, it was so refreshing when I eventually told my parents because then they were aware of how I felt and that I was having a tough time (if anything it was a bonus because they moaned at me less). All seriousness, your parents care about you more than anything in the world whether you believe it or not, they do and they want to know what you’re going through, just like you would want to know if it was your child.

I’ve found that working has really helped my anxiety. Although there are times that work events or situations can have a huge affect on my anxiety, it always works out good in the end. For example, job interviews are quite possibly the worse thing in the world, but I got my job because of it. You have to do things that make give you anxiety to achieve the end goal and trust me the end goal is so rewarding when you get there. Fight through it and will be worth it. Being busy 5 days a week for hours on end, takes my mind off things that I was freaking out over the night before. Working can be a pain and we all moan about it but it really does help with keeping your mind distracted and helping your skills and maturity.

There are so many ways to help your anxiety that I couldn’t possibly sit here and list them all but these are what helped me and are still helping me

  • Gym or working out at home or yoga
  • Reading – reading books on anxiety and self love have helped massively
  • Cut off people who don’t help your anxiety
  • Baking or any hobbie that suits you
  • Watching a TV series/Film/YouTube
  • Meeting up with friends
  • Tiding my room/clear out my clothes

But you find what helps you relax and take your mind off things.

Anxiety is a tough part of life but it can be beatable and it can be helped. Speak up and trust the process in overcoming anxiety.

Speaking up may seem like the worse thing ever, but trust me, once you start speaking about things it takes the weight off your shoulders and truly benefits you in the way you handle anxiety.

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